I noticed that I said exactly that sentence so many times this week, that I decided naming this post by it. Easily said, right... Indeed, it takes a lot of time, but results are not temporary as that toxic boyfriend/girlfriend of yours. Jokes aside, but when you learn how to love and respect yourself, you will feel that you need to move from all negativity, bad energy and vibes. You will not be able to love someone who’s not treating you how you should be treated. Not talking only about manipulative relationships with your partner, but with your friends or family members. You will appreciate your energy more, when you get to know how much does it take to recharge it, and once you do it correctly, how difficult it is to destroy your good mood when dealing with someone’s bad energy.
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to see and find all barriers within yourself that you have built against it” – Rumi
First step into this is actually being kind to yourself. All that hard emotions and experiences that came to your life since you came into this body are buried inside of you. You never actually took them out and dealt with them. They are stopping you to feel love towards yourself. They became emotional scars. Learn how to accept them, don’t be like people who caused them, hard on yourself. Focus on everything positive about you. Experience self-love through meditation, maybe even saying to yourself out loud everything positive that you see on yourself. You may be a good person, but often tested in your life path, that’s not unusual, but make yourself aware of everything good about you. Forget about every person who made you feel unloved, unimportant, uncomfortable, every person who hurt you and caused those emotional scars. I understand that KARMA is a bitch, alright, BUT, once you realize that their behavior is something that doesn’t even have anything to do with you, but that’s representation of how they feel inside- about themselves, you will feel that grace and peace. Do you think you are able to love someone, if you don’t love yourself first? You do? That’s how you attracted that fuckboy in your life, or, that’s how your girl ended up cheating. Start from yourself- do you have respect towards people who don’t respect themselves? Now tell me, do you think you should be with the person who hides their phone from you, or you are afraid to take it because you know how it will end up. Been there, done that, if your answer is still no, continue with your reading.
After you find a way how to love and appreciate yourself, remember to be grateful, every day show gratitude for everything you have or you have experienced. Imagine, waking up to just very few things you were grateful for, the day before. If you keep forgetting, remember that that what you have is someone’s dream, that food on your table, that clothes you are wearing, that phone or shoes. Be grateful and show that gratitude, every day!
Once you start doing this, your blessings will increase, but not only that, you will actually realize how blessed you already are.
Do good to others. When it comes to that, don’t expect anything in return. Btw, karma works both ways, but also when you’re being kind, considerate, compassionate, your soul will rejoice. You don’t need just to give something material, this is not what I am talking about, imagine yourself on a date, and your partner/date is treating waiter badly. Would you like that? This says a lot about that person, our job doesn’t make us who we are, before everything we are human beings, so your date is humiliating another human being this way which means he lacks compassion and consideration. How we treat others is actually saying a lot about us.
Next thing that I would like to mention is – enjoy your time alone, no matter if it’s just 20 minutes daily. Recharge your batteries. Meditate, pray, listen to the music, do whatever feeds your soul. If you have time, 20 minutes is enough, per day, I believe, if you don’t, then nothing less then 1 hour! Yes, I didn’t make mistake. This is, especially, for people who don’t like being by themselves. If you don’t enjoy your own company, how can someone else? Learn how to be comfortable with yourself first.
I know, the best thing is to be low-key while working on something, but celebrate your accomplishments! YOU DID IT! Celebrate it, this is something you did for yourself and you should be proud of it! Even if it’s just small thing, it reinforces our acknowledgement and integration of our positive qualities.
Be careful with whom you spend your time and energy, this becomes reflection of how we feel about ourselves. Release all toxicity and negativity and bring to your life people who will make you feel good about yourself, who will help you grow, who will be happy because you are achieving something.
Allow yourself to say ‘no’ when needed. If you don’t feel like doing something, don’t. Don’t waste your time and energy to please someone if that doesn’t feel like something you would normally do. Energy vampires are toxic and manipulative people you need to release.
My next post, the one I’m working on, actually, for a while is on this topic. In a meantime, to learn how they are doing it, you need to educate yourself little bit more on topic of manipulation, toxic relationships, gaslighting, and you will see how you end up feeling so emotionally or even physically drained after hanging out with some people.
If you are waiting for someone to give you attention, to love you, to text you, to take you out, you are doing it wrong. Respond is easy: if they don’t, they don’t want to. So instead of worrying, creating stupid scenarios in your head, use that time to learn how to love yourself. They are removed from your life for higher purpose. Something better is coming. Universe has your back, you just need to control your mind. Don’t think negative about yourself, find every single little thing that you can love. Change your mind and everything else will come with it. Suddenly, you will want to workout, to read that book, to watch that movie, to change your eating habits. Trust me, it all starts with you, and once you are awake, you realize that your mind is such a beautiful, powerful thing. Unblock your chakras and see your higher self, you will never be able to forget it, and good things will come your way more often.
Negative thinking is attracting negativity in your life, one more reason to stop overthinking everything.
Well, this is my usual time for signing off, I guess, so I will see you soon.
If you can imagine it, you can do it.
Bonus tip– to make it more interesting- take a sip of something every time you see “you” or “yourself”, I bet you will be hydrated (or drunk) when you reach this sentence.
See you soon,